what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
