can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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