Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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