Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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