I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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