We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Randomize
