i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
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