I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
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