Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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