I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
