The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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