Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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