I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
