So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
