So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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