so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize