After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
