p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
