...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
