1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
