i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
