I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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