Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
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