my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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