you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
