I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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