She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
