Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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