man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
