My room smells like vodka and shame
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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