hell yes lets make some ravioli
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
