Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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