i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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