I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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