So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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