btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
