At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
