Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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