my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Randomize
