I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
i out mim tonsoeep
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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