On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
did i walk over a car last night?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
