Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
