If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
