That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
