woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
