neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
