If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize