i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
How does it feel to date your dad?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
