Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
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