remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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