when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
