i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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