You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
