I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
