I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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