Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
