I accidentally burped into my bong.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
