i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Randomize
