I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
