Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
