are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
