the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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